Thursday, November 26, 2009

item #6787

What the hell is wrong with me these days? I feel like a fake in this world. I don’t enjoy living as myself, and I'm gravitating towards fantasising about other properties. It’s something I don’t want to want, but cannot for the life of me, deny or move away from it. I cannot identify myself anymore. I am turning off myself by turning on myself. It's such a nasty trap, and so completely permeated in my thinking. I am wounded like a flood, or barely discernible, a trickle. Can everyone put a label on me? I think I need something and my mind cannot find anything. I’m thinking too much in extensions. I wonder what I’m doing wrong. Dominque

Monday, November 23, 2009

item #2011

Why I am a dichotomy ... I may not get to know this, however, and I may tell you I have contradictions and oppositions instead. I am finally discovering England and its friends. My horizons have accepted those who I need to further myself. Anything for an embrace; anything for a fatality.

About me: I am trustworthy. My photographs should prove that. I leave clues within them.

About my needs: I am prepared to be whatever I desire. At this stage, though, I am only seeking an online future.


item #2010

dichotomy be my name, if it was not already. i wake contradiction as one thing, and like an affliction, i will add your bedroom eyes to the fucking high street. pinch you up down up down. (wreak ... unnatural ... moments ... a main-line, wearing you out.) i am the very trousers. few limit me. in my opinion, intelligence converts animals into motive.

anyone want to try to eat this ?


Sunday, November 22, 2009

item #4499

Dear Allison,

It is increasingly obvious to us that your pre-tribulations and our status as informal witnesses to them does not amount to any kind of final judgment. In the beginning, as we got to know one another, we were at pains to point out the effects your motivations were likely to have upon us and the progress we are seeking. We spelled this out clearly and many times. Now, despite our words, you commission us further, as if we value salvation for its own sake, or as if your judgments were devoid of deception. You are all means to an end. Reason is the only valid judgment. All further proof demonstrates your continuing need to be saved.


item #8010

I don't want to be anyone else but myself. I don't think I am looking for much, just a reflection. I might be generalising, but I prefer full sentences in messages. Thank you in advance.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

item #7007

I am my own worst enemy. If I confess that on two consecutive occasions today, I ran the gauntlet of duration itself, you'll see me, wrongly, as some minion of delight. I am, instead, q-kneeling gog, sane overhear, a weird-oh-oh-oh. I am pissed out, your casement, your buried alive. I red rag both upon opinion and upon the view from opinion. I am more interesting than the average person.

Terry Blee. LOL

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

item #0081


Yesterday in the bedroom I didn’t understand any of your deadline games. My discoveries, as you call them, were either given up or lost long before your coercions changed me. So I have no attachment to your timeline or the clocks you say are ticking to spite me. You're tracing all of my doubts after the fact and to no end. You are my part-time job, and one day I will tell you the following ... You will fall, and I, your soulmate, will be the instrument of its implementation.

I am typing this less than 10 metres from where you sit.


Thursday, November 12, 2009

item #5000

ever since august 2006 theres been five occassions when ive been in a very big issue, each time then a panic attack. last panic attack was october 2007, when he asked me to remain for 24 hours before he begged for me instead of her. in a minute (or less) i was back following. i have told him i would not finish any thing until i am sure i can end things. well since i had those thoughts i am 9 years older. i have been released into someone else. hopefully no more unexpected terminations or events like that take place before the hand of death, heart attack or car accident. i care for my own self. (good influences). sexual time is better than a bottle full of pills. compromise makes happiness. (only my idea) jillian

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

item #6928

I take the name, Carq, as a byword for others.

I have spent my life exploring an idea of human behavior, whilst all the while attempting not to influence anyone by discussing my findings. I will not describe what I mean in more detail. So, please do not ask. Because of my efforts, I live beyond the control of awareness itself, free from the inhumanity of my own consciousness. My key notions are, one might say, archetypically independent, primarily conjured from those warm agencies - love, surrender etc. - but also via motivations at once more base and conspicuous. In short, I have no agenda. I find no expression in those mythologies my friends seem to swear by. I have, instead, insisted upon differing conceptual terms, images and symbols, which, through their inherent, and intentional, ambiguities, and the secret processes they aspire to further conceal, reason alone has dominion over. I have turned to alchemy because of this, and I am here solely to institute shadows and to perform re-workings of past disorders.

I cannot otherwise be known, and you will only ever hate me.

Monday, November 02, 2009





Allow ing some one else is soft ware

I w or k.

item #4096

Yes, I am constructed. Yes, I am estimated. Yes, I originally had major misgivings, and even questions, as to whether I should vote unanimously, in some tacit referendum. Knowing my doubts, though, you invoke upon me, despite my pleas. You're utterly executive, but my vices do not include the same moves, as I've said, and will continue to say. How can I be clearer? Your company is unwanted. I want no extant complicity.

Until next year...